Don't Fart In Bed

This is one heck of a joke I got from The Office Inbox JokeBook (page 55). Most of you might have read or hear this before but gosh, I can't stop laughing reading it ;)

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only action in their marriage, was the husband's habit of farting in bed. Every morning the wife would plead with him to stop ripping them off, because it was making her sick. He told her, he couldn't stop, it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out, because his habit of farting so loudly every morning when he woke up. The noise would wake his wife, and the smell would make her eyes water and gasp for air.

The years went by and he continued to ripe them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for Christmas Lunch and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards, neck, gizzards, liver and all the other spare parts, a malicious thought came to her mind and a smile crept across her lips.

She took the bowl upstairs where the husband was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his boxers and carefully emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his boxers. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran to the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled around the floor laughing with tears running down her face. after years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About 20 minutes later her husband came downstairs in his blood stained boxers, he was pale with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip and asked, "What is the matter?"

He said, "Honey, you were right all these years, you have been warning me and I didn't listen."

"What do you mean?" asked the wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out and today it finally happened. But for the grace of God, some Vaseline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

LOL!!! Hahaha!

I hope that makes up your day...it does to me ;)

More to come....