A tour bus driver is taking a group of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts which he gratefully accepts.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five times.
When she is about to hand him another batch, he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?"
"We can't chew them because we've got no teeth," she replies.
The driver is puzzled and asks, "Why do you buy them them?"
"We just love the chocolates around them."
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened.
First body, "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
Second body, "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus O'Quinn from Donegal, age 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his photo taken!!"