Di Pukul Ombak!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I woke up this morning with a weird dream. It's the first time I had this dream (as far as I can remember la).

I was in a boat, going somewhere, cruising through the Brunei river. The tide is high and the water is rough and I was sitting in the front seat with an old friend (I won't mention the name here) but somehow, in that boat, it's like my whole classmates were there. Half way thru' the journey, in the middle of the Brunei river, we were unexpectedly being hit by a rough wave (it seems as high as 1 meter) and me, in the front seat, got scared but didn't budge from my seat and was totally wet. Same goes with my mates. After got a confirmation from the boat driver and his assistant that everything would be okay and we won't hit any rough tide, my and the rest of my colleagues were relieved. But not long after that, I saw another big wave coming at our direction and I informed the driver and his assistant but they kept on saying, "Don't worry!". The wave came closer and closer and.......we were hit again! This time all my classmates were thrown overboard and only left me and 2 mates. Somehow we managed to reach a land and we walked and walked........and that's when my alarm buzzed!

I tried to ignore most of my dreams 'coz I know mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur but I couldn't help it, sometimes what I dreamt of before, somehow happened somewhere in the future and when that happened,I said to myself, "Hey! I know I see/feel/experience this before" but dunno from where. My dreams? Maybe!

Cepuemas dream - Had I ever dreamt of di gigit ular? Bitten by a snake? Coz dalam Tafsir Mimpi, when a lady dreams of being bitten by a snake, it means that she will get married soon! I dunno how true it is but to answer that question, errrrmmm yes! I had dreamt about snakes actually! MInd you - SNAKES! Not 1 but a lot! I dreamt about snakes twice few years back! My first dream, I was struggling to break free from a snake and ended up being bitten. My second dream came few days after my first dream, I was asleep (in m dream) in my own room and when I woke up, the were snakes all around guarding the door. After having those dreams, I was so nervous for the next couples of months (takut-takut ada yang masuk meminang considering I was not ready!) but nothing happened and that was 4-5 years ago!

This morning, after woke up from my sleep and dream, I had my shower, did my Subuh prayer and get ready for breakfast and work. While I was having my breakfast, my mum said that she wanted to talk to me face-to-face! UUUUooooo....and my mum dropped the bomb!

Before I told you what my mum said to me this morning (sampai menitiskan airmata..YUP!), lets me brief you about something. Couple of years ago, when I was just started working and before I went to work and lived in Singapore, I know this 1 guy from work. He is a nice, shy type of guy(maklumlah anak bungsu) and he plainly told me that he likes me (through SMS) and all. But when I went to Singapore, I didn't keep in touch with him memandangkan I'm not interested at that time. So, when I came back, he managed to track me down and we keep in touch eversince. My feeling for him still nothing apart as a friend. I told him that I couldn't accept him more than friends but somehow he just never giveup! This guy had come to my place before for Hari Raya and as it happened, my mum likes him soooo much (kira menantu ideal lah tu).

So, this morning my mum said that she prefers if I choose this guy to be my future husband considering that I am her only daughter and she wants me to have a good guy to look for me in the future. And my mum nangis-nangis telling me that he is a good guy and my mum believes that he will take good care of me. My mum knows that don't have any feeling for this guy and I always avoid 'his topic' with my mum. True, he is a good guy, religious and all but we just didn't 'click' or rather I didn't 'click' with him!

I told my mum that I'm not ready to get married! I know I'm coming 27 years old this year and I should be commited/engaged to someone by now - which I don't - but I don't understand what's the pressure! I mean, I'm just NOT READY! and honestly, my heart hasn't open up to anyone just yet! I don't know what I'm looking for or what I'm waiting for but soal hati, it cannot be forced! I haven't find THE ONE yet!

You know what's funny?! I'm addicted in reading novels and in some novels the authors write about arranged marraige. Hopefully, mine is not the same case. I don't want to be torn between my our heart desire and my mum's wishes! I know my mum always think what's the best for me but if my heart is not in it, would it be the best for me? If ever I have to choose, I think I would lose and give in to my mum's desire coz I just couldn't bear to see her disappointed in me. I don't want to be anak derhaka either but why my mum can't just understand that me and him, we just didn't 'click'.

Everytime we go on a date, which consists mainly with dinners and a movie once, we never talked much coz he just mostly keep quiet and honestly, I don't know what to converse with him! Dipukul Ombak...I think that the right title for my day today. First with my dream, then with my mum and it's just 10 minutes to 10AM! My day is not over yet but somehow I don't think I can handle another ombak!

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