Gosh! Eversince I discover this thingy called blogging, I haven't even write a sentence into a book with printed lines called 'The Diary'.
Raise up your hands if you have/had one - a diary, that is! I do!!! Currently, I got 10 of it, dated back from 1997 and currently ends with 2009. I got few diaries before that but somehow, I remembered, during my 'bad days', I burnt them. Honestly, I regreted burning them so I said to myself, no matter what happened, I would not burn any of my diaries - not by me anyway.
I was religiously writing in my diary since I entered college. Basically just to jot down what's happening in my life everyday and as I grow older (ehem! younger at heart still! LOL!), I write less. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I was just too tired writing - which is funny coz I'm still blogging (duh!) or maybe there is just nothing interesting happening in my life no more - haha! sounds pathetic, I know! Or maybe I just having less feelings nowadays hence less soul expression.
What happened to all my diaries, you might ask?
I keep them under lock and key. LOL! Diaries are meant to be kept a secret hence the security measures. There are times, I opened up the closet and re-read my own enteries.
Why, you might ask again?
For someone who like to read, I like to read what was I thinking back then. I mean, if I was in that situation again, would I take the same decisions or making the same mistakes or do the right thing again?
There are times when I was feeling so low, rock bottom you might say and I say to myself, what made I do what I did? True, by reading your own enteries won't change the history but it reminds you of who you are and what you believe in - which sometimes I forget. Of course, you would also discover all those nasty, stupid mistakes that you wish you can take back but as human, we learnt from our mistakes. Keep on hoping you and I won't the same mistakes again.
But, unfortunately for me, I (sometimes) never learnt from my own mistakes. I kept on making the same mistakes again and again and again and sometimes I wonder, does history repeats itself or am I making the same history all over again?
There are so many stuffs in my diaries that makes me laugh, cry and smile all over the written pages. All those crushes, all those loves, all those heartbreaks! Friends I had discovered, friends I had lost, friends I would never meet again and friends whom never will be a friend no more. All those hatred, jealousy, envy! And look where we all now.....
"The brightest future will always be based in a forgotten past.
You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches"
Dear Diaries, in you, where all my secrets lie!!